Duran’s Birth Story
Posted on March 1st, 2016 by RWM AdminI am the daughter of a midwife. I grew up around pregnant women, labor and delivery and I loved watching the process. I dreamed of being a wife and a mom one day, but my 20s came and went and still no husband. I have definitely learned (and will continue to learn) that my timing isn’t God’s timing. In April 2013 I met Danny. He wasn’t like any man I had ever dated and I wasn’t sure I was even romantically interested in him at the start, but he kept pursuing. My dating history included a series of non-committal men, so this steady man who kept pursuing scared me. I didn’t know what to do with it. I was used to being all in, not the other way around. Fast forward to March 1, 2014 and I am walking down the aisle towards Danny at my dream wedding.
We wanted to wait for 2 years before having kids. We were both older and knew that marriage would take some major adjusting after having been on our own for so long. In August 2014, I was in LA to visit my best friend before heading to Phoenix for a work trip. I was due to start my period, but was showing no signs, which was abnormal for me. I was also feeling really good hormonally, also abnormal for that time of month. The day I was supposed to start, came and still NO signs. I knew something was up. I decided to take a pregnancy test because I needed to know one way or the other. It was positive. I cried. Thoughts began swirling around in my brain, “This wasn’t when this was supposed to happen. We were going to wait. We haven’t had any time to adjust to each other, now a baby?!” I called Danny over Face-time and told him I had something I needed to tell him. His first response was “Are you pregnant?” I slid the positive pregnancy test in front of the screen and his response was not what I expected. He was happy! He was calm and steady and not worried that it had happened so soon. This comforted me, but didn’t bring me to a state of happiness.
It took three months and the news of the tragic loss of my friend’s baby to bring me to my senses. God so gently whispered in my ear, “You aren’t guaranteed your plans.” And you know what, His plan was way better. A process of adjusting to marriage would have taken us much longer had our daughter not been conceived when she was.
Despite not being excited about being pregnant in the beginning, I had an easy pregnancy. I kept waiting for some of the typical symptoms and complaints, but had very few of those. I had mentally prepared for my labor and delivery to be in the double digits time wise and had ultimately released and trusted God for whatever was in store for our birth.
Danny and I went to bed April 19 and I had no signs of labor. A few days prior I had tried timing some “contractions” which only felt like my belly tightening, but I had no pain. I was waiting for the menstrual cramp feeling. Finally after going to bed I started to feel that twinge of cramping and began timing these contractions. It was 11:45 and they were four minutes apart. I got up to go to the bathroom because I had a sensation of leaking and when I stood up I was pretty sure my water had broken. It had indeed. Danny came into the bathroom and I said, “Yep my water broke,” and we high fived. We were going to meet our daughter soon!
My contractions picked up almost immediately after my water broke. They went from 4 minutes to 2.5 minutes within about 30 minutes. I called my mom (a midwife) and let her know we were in labor. She said to call her when we felt like we needed her. We also called Joyce, our primary midwife to let her know as well. She was sick and said she would work it out with my mom and the birth assistant as to how they would handle things. I was completely calm during all of this. Which surprised me, because I like to be in control of everything.
We had planned to labor in a birth pool, which Danny was working on getting ready to fill. He was on the phone with my mom discussing some of the needed parts while I was laboring in the background. She heard me and asked Danny what was wrong with me. He said “Oh, she’s just doing her breathing exercises.” My mom being an experienced midwife, knew that the sounds I was making were not those of an early stage laboring mom. She told him she was on her way. By this point I began to feel like I was close to pushing, so I was anxious for her to arrive. It was now about 1:15 am.
My mom must have called Nicole, the midwife who would be primary for the delivery, because soon after my mom arrived, Nicole did as well. Nicole asked if I wanted her to check me and I told her yes, just so I could mentally prepare for how much longer it might be. I wasn’t prepared for the words that came out of her mouth. “You’re complete, so whenever you feel like pushing you are ready to do that.” I was thinking, “WHAT?! I am complete? It’s only been an hour and a half, how could that be!?” I wasn’t complaining of course, just shocked because this was not what I had expected.
We decided to deliver in our bedroom and not attempt the pool, which there was no time to fill. I am so glad, because our daughter’s heart tones would dip during pushing, so we needed the flexibility to change my position to work on getting her heart tones steady. After about an hour of pushing, my mom delivered her head and shoulders and then handed her off to Danny who caught her and delivered our daughter fully into the world. What an incredible moment for us both. Eliana Gabrielle was born at 2:31am, not quite three hours after labor started.
I never dreamed I would be “one of those mom’s” who would have a quick delivery with manageable pain. During labor I never transitioned like I thought I would with vomiting and intense pain. I kept waiting for the pain to get worse. I have no regrets choosing the care provider that we did. Family Centered Maternity Care was incredible and we would (and will) choose them again for our next baby, whenever God chooses to bless us with our second.
